Oh Yes, I Am A Muddler

I just finished a fantastic book. A short read but a good one at that. 15 Secrets To A Happy Home by Janene Baadsgaard is a must read for all mommies. I orginally picked it not because I felt that our family was unhappy, but because I am a mother. I feel that ultimatly the responsiblity of raising happy children and having a happy home is mine. Let's face it husbands are easy to keep happy and we have all heard the saying, "If momma ain't happy .. . ." I make sure to study the art of happiness to ensure our family has a "happy" life together. This book was very similar to those I have read in the past in some aspects. Your thoughts becoming a reality, gratitude, embracing the moment, you choose to be happy others can not do it for you, and loving those around are some of the finer points. There was one point in particular that really struck me. I suppose it is because of where I am at in life at the moment. She shares a story from when she was raising young children and what qualifies as a disaster of a day. They woke up to find while they were asleep their dishwasher had malfunctioned overnight flooding their entire home followed by a series of events that are fairly typical for a mom to experience but only compounded to create this horrible day. To top it off she was eight months pregnant. She went on to tell as she was wiping up water she looked over at her husband in tears and said, "I can not handle anymore." (I can just hear Elliot saying I have heard those words once or twice). All she wanted from her husband was for him to ride in on his white horse, dry up all the water, replace everything that had been destroyed, and carry her off to a warm cozy bed where she could sleep I am sure. Instead he replied, "You do not have to handle it." Side note to Elliot, if you want to make it to see another day please do not respond in this manner. Janene went on to ask her husband why he did not appreciate how hard her life is? He replied, "There is no rule book that says you have to go through life handling everything. Just muddle. I have been doing it for years and nobody can tell the difference." WOW! Her husband was this huge bank exec with a prestigous career and he muddled? and nobody could tell? As I continued reading the chapter I realized I have been muddling for years but had no clue it was on the approved list for good mothers. Sometimes you just have to make it through. Finally I could stop berating myself for just making it. There are just times where perfection is not part of the equation. I had permission to just muddle. Make it through. Do what it takes. So what if I do not make a seven course meal every night in my evening gown and heels while my well manicured children sit quietly and solve the world's problem. Some nights PB&J and a fruit cup does count as dinner. I muddled last night as a matter a fact. While cleaning the after dinner mess, I looked up to see Aiden naked as a jay bird with Madelyn's pink Barbie guitar, singing along to a DVR'd copy of American Idol. This is usually when my visiting teachers swing by with cookies or one of the neighbors pop over to borrow something. Had I not been in muddling mode he would have been back in proper attire in a matter of seconds and appearences would have mattered. But lets face it I was cleaning the kitchen without a little "helper". Allowing him to sing naked allowed me to even sweep and mop. Muddling to me does not mean settling for less or giving in. It means getting through and letting go of appearences. No matter how hard I try I am not perfect yet. What a sigh of relief it is to know that muddling is okay and the best part is nobody can tell. "Ye are little children . . .and ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along." D&C 78:17-18